We get stuck in “comfortable” ruts. They might be safer than pushing forward. For a time, they might be all we can handle. And possibly, they might even be enough—but what happens when that little voice inside you starts asking for something a little bit better?
If you are in a non-safe position, then becoming safe is the focus. Trauma from past experiences can also be unpredictably triggered. I know what that pain does to me. For all the other things that are impossible in that moment, please just figure out how to be safe. Whatever that means to you, do it. Everyone needs something a little different, so please ask for help, stop doing stupid stuff, and accept responsibility to control all that you can. When each day begins, you do have a little power to make tiny decisions that add up, so promise yourself to start with one thing, then build on it. Please keep trying. You can get through this day. You can get through this night.
Making better choices to be safe helps create a better environment to do bigger things. How things are organized around you is part of creating a safe space, and it helps prevent distractions, temptations, and those triggers too. If your goal is to be better, then try eliminating the stuff that throws you off track. It seems weird, but having a home filled with only the things that support being better is more valuable than all the luxury in the world. The appeal of tiny homes, vanlife, or minimalistic living is about seeing and using things that support your true self—not the image anyone says you must be. Having more stuff is a choice, but just make sure that stuff is around you for the right reasons. Be brave enough to let some things go.
Some stuff in your head needs to go too. Figuring out all the little hamster wheels running in your head takes some patience and guts. Maybe it’s one big wheel with many hamsters fighting for the lead. Maybe it’s one hamster jumping from wheel to wheel. Learning to journal, doing brain dumps, letting out frustration in a sweaty sauna, gym session, or forest walk—these can all shake out the inefficient brain drainers. Pay attention as you let everything empty out, because it means other ideas get more space to be noticed, and there’s now room to put new stuff in there too.
Becoming selective with your inputs is a superpower. It requires you to become your own lifeguard. Learn to filter out the garbage—media, people, food—it all matters. Every day, you have the power to change the channel, deny access to those who cause you pain, and aim your fork at the best options available. You don’t need to be perfect at any of this; rather, it’s the realization that every little bit that shifts you toward what you want is better than every little thing that pulls you in the opposite direction.
As you build a world around you that is safe, supportive, and clean, the true benefit begins to show itself.
A moment will come when you start to believe in something. It will be tiny. It will be dim. But it will be felt. It only takes a spark to show you enough light. A new and better day is possible.
Stop forcing a miracle from an outside source. Trust that what is inside of you already is all that you really need. Believe your truth. It can happen.
Kelea Quinn 