In experimenting with gratefulness, I have found a new way to reframe how I do it.
The normal way and the way I have described it in previous posts, is to simply list out things which I am thankful for that day and in life. It is all encompassing. Grateful/ thankful –> it is about noticing the good stuff in your life. This is positive. It doesn’t take a lot of time. And it can snap you out of a pity party when necessary.
So, a new reflective idea is to change the objective from identifying ‘things you have’ to ‘things you have done’.
Maybe you are sometimes being thankful for your actions, but when researching gratefulness, I have often found that the lists are made of ‘things that we have’. This is where I feel that there is weakness in this habit as those things can be taken away, broken, lost… Yes, you can be thankful while ‘you have things’ but then you need to deal with them when they are gone.
Being thankful for your actions changes a few things.
Firstly, and most importantly, you are in control of your actions. You have decided to do something or not do it. Those are choices and taking a moment to thank yourself for making the right choice is very good for building your self-respect. Some of those choices were difficult, so giving yourself a pat on the back is always justified. FYI no one else will ever do this for you.
Secondly, reinforcement of the good choices replays positive memories in your mind. Too often, we replay the bad stuff over and over again. Those bad things cannot be changed. Replays do not help. Choose instead to replay the good stuff so those memories become strong.
Thirdly, the benefits of some actions are felt immediately, while some benefits will not be realized until years later. The morning after a good workout, your muscles will remind you what you did. Smile with the knowledge that your actions are paying off. When coming home after a long day, finding a clean space and your bed already made, it makes you very happy that you took the time in the morning to take care of your home. Telling the truth will always mean that you know exactly what you said yesterday.
Dreams are a start for a better life. To-do lists are all your plans waiting to be done. But actions are the only true PROOF of what you are doing in your life. When you do do something, reward yourself with acknowledgement and gratefulness that you were able to do it. Some days are harder than others so no matter how small the accomplishment, allow yourself a moment to say thanks.
Kelea Quinn 